Since my diagnosis of incurable and metastatic neuroendocrine cancer in 2010, it’s really all been about me. I didn’t see the trauma coming, and my family has supported me throughout every single step. I really don’t want to be the focus of attention as that mantle was normally evenly distributed. However, there’s nothing like a cancer diagnosis to put you into the spotlight.
Facing an uncertain future with regular scans, injections, treatment, pills, examinations and blood tests has made me the center of attention, whether I like it or not. The focus is on me because these things are necessary to keep me alive for as long as possible and also because I live with the consequences of cancer and its treatment which provides further challenges. A good quality of life is not only a motivator for change, good planning and constant surveillance, but it’s also hard work and has an additional impact on the whole family. It means all activities including work, holidays, days out, social activities and, even the simple act of eating, might all need to be organized around me due to the vagaries of my condition. It will never stop, it will never end and it will always be about me!
This has gone on since 2010. “Cancerversaries” are on the calendar alongside birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Tumor marker tests and scans are reviewed twice yearly so the relentless attention continues, often peaking at these test milestones and worrying moments in between. The detailed analysis of unusual pain or other disturbances are documented. The attention is on me.
Then, a couple of years ago, my wife finds a lump. The local doctor investigates and refers her for a mammogram. The mammogram check leads to an ultrasound which then leads to a biopsy of some fibrous tissue. We had a two-week wait before all clear is given but the worry doesn’t immediately dissipate as another check was scheduled for three months (done, no issues). The following check 6 months after on 7 Aug 2018 is also no change. Hang on … this is not about me!
I suddenly realised it shouldn’t be all about me, it’s about other people too. It always has been, I just got wrapped up in my own issues. There is nothing in the rule book that allows cancer or other illnesses to be limited to a single family member. Cancer doesn’t really care how many in your household already have the disease – anyone is a target. It’s bad enough having one cancer patient in the house without another cropping up. One thing is for sure when it comes to a cancer diagnosis in the family, I really want it to be all about me (i.e. I don’t want it happening to anyone else).
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Postscript: Very excited to share my first article published in CURE magazine. This is a real story about recent events involving my own family. As a long-term cancer patient, it can seem like it’s always about ‘me’ and then something happens which changes that perception. It’s actually about others too, and always has been. If you want to talk about something similar in your life, please share with others in your comments below or message me.
This is the beginning of a new phase in my activities and another opportunity to spread awareness of Neuroendocrine Cancer to new audiences, something I promised I would do. I hope you will support my first contribution to an exciting organisation brand.
It would be great if you would take the time to read the article directly on the Cure site here, and any likes, comments and sharing would be appreciated.
The article can be found here
You may also enjoy my second Cure Magazine article “Poker Face or Cancer Card”
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3 thoughts on “Cancer Isn’t All About Me”
Fingers crossed for Christine Ronny x
So glad your wife was given the all clear and I hope the result is the same when she goes for the next check up. It has crossed my mind to wonder how we would cope if my husband was ever diagnosed with cancer or some other life threatening condition. As you say, no one is exempt, even those who are already affected by a family member’s cancer.
Hope the results for your wife are good. As you say it would be good for it to still be all about you. You seem a very determined individual and I am sure that you will also be as determined if God forbid your are needed.