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Ronny Allan
Most people have probably heard of the saying “is your glass half empty or half full”. If you said ‘half empty’, you have more of a pessimistic view on life; if you said ‘half full’, you tend to have more of an optimistic or positive outlook.
I don’t think a positive outlook actually means you permanently wear ‘rose tinted glasses’ and act like everything is fine. I think it just means you approach potentially negative situations in a more positive and productive way. I agree that sometimes it’s hard not to veer into negative thoughts or actions from time to time. I’m only human and I’ve been in some dark places since diagnosis. However, I believe to continuously be in ‘half empty mode’ can have a detrimental effect on your health, both physical and mental.
When I was first diagnosed with Neuroendocrine Cancer in 2010, I experienced a whole range of emotions from shock and denial, disbelief and anger followed by grudging acceptance. However, those emotions were quickly followed by what I can only describe as determination, tenacity, strength and rock-solid willpower to face what was in front of me.
I cracked on with work as if nothing had happened with only a select few knowing my issue – that was the way I wanted it. I was very much in glass ‘half full mode’. The work took my mind off the cancer whilst I was put through an extraordinary amount of tests and pre-surgical treatment (Neuroendocrine Cancer patients will understand what I mean). Eventually, I had taken so much time off for tests and treatment, my secret was out. I was about to embark on major surgery and potentially months off work, so the secret had to be exposed in any case. I’m not sure what worried me most, the fact that I had cancer; or that people now knew the invincible Ronny Allan was not superman after all!
Since then I have made it my mission to keep my mind busy and to stay positive despite having something which is not curable. That’s not to say I don’t have bad periods and I’m 100% physically and mentally coping. As I said above, a glass half full outlook means you can approach potentially negative situations in a more positive and productive way. In fact, that strategy was used to lift me from a low point in 2013 to the declaration of a ‘new normal‘.
Like many other Neuroendocrine Cancer patients, I have numerous side effects of both the cancer and the treatment. As an incurable cancer patient, I need to keep an eye on my mind as well as my body. As a 60 ‘something’ year-old, I also have numerous aches, pains and ailments that most people of this age tend to suffer from and it would be very easy to automatically tie all of these in with my cancer. So I don’t, at least not without my own logical analysis and diary keeping, supported by my surveillance results (scan and bloods).
That’s not to say I’ve become complacent. Far from it, I investigate issues in some depth and follow them up with primary and/or secondary care until I’m satisfied.
I don’t rely too much on patient forums for my own ‘close support’, even though I own the biggest one in the world! Some people tell me they completely avoid forums as they found them too negative and depressing. I know what they mean as I disengaged from most back in 2016 as they did not meet my needs and were not properly moderated. In response, I set up my own sites to look more on the bright side, provide better information and filter out the crap I had encountered daily in those unmoderated sites and groups.
However, I’m conscious that some people are very worried about their condition, particularly during the diagnostic phase or pre-treatment, so I guess there are perceptions at play. As a survivor of 13 years plus, I’ve learned to filter out or at least try to understand someone’s concerns and I always attempt to inject some positivity and hope into any thread, as hard as that is to many of the questions I see, some of them directed at me privately.
In my blogs, I’m conscious that my own personal experience is not universal and I would never dream of suggesting that my opinions be substituted for someone else’s. However, I hope that for some people, they can relate to what I have said and take comfort from the fact that there can be light at the end of the tunnel even if it currently looks some distance away!
Finally, I am a strong believer that having a positive attitude is potentially life extending for a cancer patient, or at least helps with coping. Therefore …… my glass is half full.
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Disclaimer
I am not a doctor or any form of medical professional, practitioner or counsellor. None of the information on my website, or linked to my website(s), or conveyed by me on any social media or presentation, should be interpreted as medical advice given or advised by me.
Neither should any post or comment made by a follower or member of my private group be assumed to be medical advice, even if that person is a healthcare professional.
Please also note that mention of a clinical service, trial/study or therapy does not constitute an endorsement of that service, trial/study or therapy by Ronny Allan, the information is provided for education and awareness purposes and/or related to Ronny Allan’s own patient experience. This element of the disclaimer includes any complementary medicine, non-prescription over the counter drugs and supplements such as vitamins and minerals.
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Cup half full for me, only 9mths since diagnosis and still learning (and I don’t think that will ever stop), but Iover the years I have found that no good comes of worrying about what you cannot change. It is a lot to come to terms with, but knowing you are not alone helps me greatly. Yes it all gets to much sometimes, and I can become overwhelmed by it all. But I know that I have so much to look forward too, as well as having found a lot of support inspiration out there, and new friends, which is always good.
Try being a middle aged female and asked if you’re having hot flushes! Laughing doesn’t seem to be a medically appropriate answer. I have finally past that panicky stage (diagnosed nine months ago) of thinking every twinge is a heart attack and my tumours will explode if I lie in bed on the wrong side! A sense of humour definitely helps. I use my blog mainly as a way to allow friends and acquaintances to keep up to date without having to ask how I am all the time. It means we can talk about far more interesting and normal things. Thanks for your blog, it has helped a lot to de-mystify some of the things I’m going through.
Hi Coral, now following your blog, plus twitter (follow back?). I’m fairly new to blogging but I suspect what you suggest is feasible. Give me a shout if you get stuck, a second pair of eyes on a problem is always useful! I also post for @planetscharity if you’re tracking useful NET articles etc. Best wishes for your treatment.
Thanks for the follow and not generally on Twitter, but will try to figure it all out. I am glad to have read this article again. I needed this again today.
thanks for the follow on twitter! you mastered it 🙂 Glad my blog read has helped.
I just had my two year since dx in May 2012, but we all know we’ve been carrying this cancer around with us for years, if not decades. I am looking to split my blog into separate blogs soon. Not sure how to list others, etc., so may be asking for help in learning how to do these things later on. Happy anniversary!!
It sounds like we were both diagnosed around the same time – 2010. It’s my 4 year cancerversary this month and I try to keep a positive attitude too. I also write a carcinoid cancer blog and I’ll add yours to my blog list. Stay well and positive!
Just had my 4 year Jul 25. Check out my post ‘Four years on’ will seek out your blog
I like to be positive too, I do believe that helps you both physically and mentally. If I didn’t have that attitude, I wouldn’t have got through 4 ops in 14 months. Ronny we refuse to be victims of the disease and take every day as a new day. Having the same cancer as you I’m not going to lied some days can be testing but it’s how you handle it, which is important. Blogging is my outlet too so keep up the blogging. 😄
Absolutely!
I was diagnosed with carcinoid tumor over 3 years ago. I was already retired at the time but other than that my journey was like yours and I think our attitudes are similar. Every day I wake up thinking I made again!”. Even though I will always have this disease, at the current time my symptoms are minimal compared to the way they were before surgery and minimal compared to many other sufferers with carcinoid. I also agree about the tendency to blame all the standard aches and pains and ailments on the disease. We need to acknowledge that we are growing older just like all the non-zebras that we know. Stay positive and may you experience the best possible outcomes. Cy
thanks Cy – looks like you’re keeping yourself busy!
Over 20 years ago I suffered a MI (heart attack) and thankfully as a result of changing my life style, diet, approach to work and stopping smoking/drinking; I lead a normal life, apart from being overweight. However, during the six months following the MI, I was very conscious of everything my body was doing and if I felt a slight ache in my chest, would go into panic mode. I eventually came to realise that this approach was not helping me and although I am aware of the key warning indicators of having an MI, I am far more relaxed about what Ronny describes above as “numerous aches, pains and ailments that most people of this age tend to suffer”.
cheers Tony – good supporter and friend as ever!
What a journey you have had! But you highlight another disease that can be very contagious: ‘negativity’. Thankfully, something you don’t suffer from.
thank you for some of the inspiration!