Most people with an incurable Cancer will go through both good and bad periods. I quite liked a quote by a fellow patient who described that as the ‘ebb and flow’ of living with cancer and said the flow would always return at some point. I also liked a quote from a fellow blogger whose blog catchphrase is “Having a bad day shouldn’t mean having a bad life”.
I don’t like playing the victim so I’m just trying to make my new normal ….. normal! And I make no apologies for my approach. So, when I wrote my blog post “Living with Neuroendocrine Cancer – it takes guts“, that wasn’t me being one of those trendy bloggers saying the sort of things people want to hear. Nor was my post “Neuroendocrine Cancer – is normally slow growing BUT …..” an attempt to invoke some sort of ‘pity party’. Neither of those things is my style. Despite the metaphoric angle to the post titles, it really does take guts to live with a life-threatening condition due to many of the ‘BUTs‘ mentioned in the second article.

‘It’s the cancer’ – this can sometimes seem like the perfect reason to say I can’t. It’s difficult, particularly if you’re not feeling well or still recovering from treatment. I find it helps if you have someone providing motivation, a partner, a friend or even just by reading an inspiring post. I’ve been contacted by many people who have simply said “I needed to hear that today”. Personally, I’m perked up when I read stories about patients trying to change or improve their outcome (reduce symptoms, increase quality of life), even simple day-to-day things that gives them a little victory, a chance to feel some normality, it all helps. For some it can be a turning point. I do long walks and climb hills just to piss my cancer off – I’m not suggesting you do it (unless you feel capable of course!) but anything which brings some normality, and a better quality of life has to be better than nothing.
Despite my positive sounding blogs and my generally focused and determined nature, I sometimes have bad periods where I feel I’m not coping well living with cancer. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’d planned to do something and then put if off for various reasons. When you live with cancer or long-term chronic disease, it can be really easy to become almost permanently inactive and lethargic – that is not a good outcome and I fight hard not to fall into bad routines. Fortunately, my wife Chris (Mrs Motivator) helps me get through some of this.
Sometimes there is a fine line between ‘poker face’ and ‘cancer card‘.
And often I just think I’m not sick, I just have cancer.
And I say this to those who think they can’t do anything. You can, you’re stronger than you think.
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I am not a doctor or any form of medical professional, practitioner or counsellor. None of the information on my website, or linked to my website(s), or conveyed by me on any social media or presentation, should be interpreted as medical advice given or advised by me.
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Please also note that mention of a clinical service, trial/study or therapy does not constitute an endorsement of that service, trial/study or therapy by Ronny Allan, the information is provided for education and awareness purposes and/or related to Ronny Allan’s own patient experience. This element of the disclaimer includes any complementary medicine, non-prescription over the counter drugs and supplements such as vitamins and minerals.
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56yo, California, NET pancrease Mets to everywhere.
This was a much needed post. I’m in my second year and deep into my personal pity party. I average 15 appointment per month and still work full time and volunteer in animal rescue (the only things that gets me off the couch) . A lifelong artist, I’ve stopped trying to make art since diagnosis because I think, What’s the point? I’ve forgotten that the point wasn’t always the product but the process. The engagement. I turn down invitations all the time and I rarely initiate a social engagement. My diagnosis has really done a number on my psyche. I’ve lost 3 really good friends soon after I began treatment ( why does that happen?) Your posts really help me a lot since my support circle doesn’t understand that there’s so much more to this diagnosis than is spoken about. It’s too hard to explain to NC ( non cancer) folks. But these posts make me feel seen. Thank you❤️
Glad you found the post useful 👍
I so agree with roragainstcancer I have found it difficult. You carry on thinking giving us your thoughts. It is so helpful and yes less isolated x
Ronny, I could have written this myself! I have been feeling exactly this way, but hadn’t been able to put it to words…thank you for that. I LOVE the “I Can”…brilliant!
My pleasure. It’s difficult and I spent some time not only thinking about what to say but how to say it. I didn’t want anyone to feel isolated.
You are a inspiration. I could relate to everything you wrote.
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Ronny, as always your blogs are spot on — informative, inspiring, and reflective. Brilliant title and illustration!